the waiting game

I did something the other day that I've never done before. I don't regret it, I don't think it was a mistake...I'm just anxious as hell.

That's right. I sent in a query via snail-mail. I did the e-query thing last summer (uniform rejections). Some of them were quite speedy, the others took a little time. But there was somehow something less daunting about them. I don't know exactly why; maybe it's because an email is somehow inherently less daunting than that envelope waiting in the mailbox.

Anyway, I did it on Tuesday, and I have 2-3 weeks to wait, so I should find out before the end of the month. My expectations are not terribly high, but I can't give up hope. I know that when I see my shiny SASE sitting in my mailbox, I'll just leave it on my desk, unopened, for at least an hour or two, dreading what it might contain and hoping - hoping so much - that my fears will be put to rest.

Of course, there's the fear that I a) addressed the envelope wrong b) did something else stupid to make myself look like a moron c) am laughed at for being said moron....but at least I'll not know about these things, I'll just get a nice form-rejection (which I'm used to). I can pretend that it's for a simple and non-stupid reason, like....my writing sux.

If I were religious, I'd pray. As I'm not, I'll just cross fingers and toes (though they'll likely be quite cramped from staying like that for 2-3 weeks + the 2-3 weeks if (miraculously) I get asked to send chapters + the however long if (even more miraculously) I get asked to send the whole thing).

But I'm excited too. How could I not be? This feels somehow more real than the e-mail queries...stealing the manila envelopes from parent's house before coming back to school, buying stamps and #10 envelopes, printing all that stuff out on my printer, actually posting it...made me feel like a big-grown-up writer! (lol)


Oh, and as for nanowriye...yeah. 24,000 words out of about 50,000 that I should be at now (I think).

Oh dear.