A couple of days ago, I wandered over to yahoo! answers because I thought it might be interesting (or at least amusing). And to some degree, it was. The questions that some people ask there, in any and all of the categories, are quite frequently bizarre. Anyway, I felt out of my depth commenting or answering for most of the sections, so I gravitated towards the one on education. After all, I'm a student and so that's something that I should know a thing or two about.
A lot of people there seem to be high school kids posting their homework problems/essays there with the expectation that someone is going to do them for them. That's a whole different story, and one that I'm not in the mood to talk about today. But some people genuinely seem to want help understanding things. I was in correspondence with one of those people today. It was over a math concept that I find quite simple, and was happy to explain it to this girl over the course of several emails. I think, in the end, that she finally got it.
I felt good for having helped her. I felt like I'd done a good deed for the day. It's not something that I would usually say about myself, but I've come to realize, that I like to help people. Not in a community service, go and pick up trash way. But educationally. I like to be able to explain things and see that they get it. To see that I've helped. I've never really thought about that before. But if that's true about me, then Teach for America looks like a great post-grad opportunity for me. Who knows, maybe I'll even be a teacher (my family would sure get a laugh out of that).
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
And the Long Night Begins
So I've got two midterms tomorrow afternoon. One in International Security, and the other in Russian Literature. Neither of which I'm ready for. I didn't happen to make it to most of the Lit classes, and so I'm at present re-reading the books (which is what I'll spend most of the night doing) in the hope that I'll be able to put together sensible answers for tomorrow's exam. The International Security one I'm less worried about; I've paid attention and can sum up the most important concepts. The only thing that's going to be an issue is the time constraints (3 essays in an hour). But I write pretty fast, so here's to hoping that I'll manage a pass in both of them. I deserve it after that 43/100 in my cognitive neuroscience exam (thank god it's best 2 out of 3 exams!).
But aside from that, I'm quite proud of myself in the getting-things-done realm. I managed to talk to the undergrad advisor in the political science department, and as soon as I find an advisor, I'm set for the major. And amazing...I have weeks to go before it actually had to be done! And, just a few minutes ago, I finished my housing application for next year. Fingers crossed I get a room and don't have to fuck around with off-campus housing.
I'm just hoping I don't fall prey to the I'll-just-nap-for-10-minutes syndrome that tends to get me so very well at about dawn whenever I try to pull an all-nighter.
At least I don't have classes tomorrow, so I can just come home from the midterms and crash for the next day or so (though I do have to be up for work at 10...blech)
But aside from that, I'm quite proud of myself in the getting-things-done realm. I managed to talk to the undergrad advisor in the political science department, and as soon as I find an advisor, I'm set for the major. And amazing...I have weeks to go before it actually had to be done! And, just a few minutes ago, I finished my housing application for next year. Fingers crossed I get a room and don't have to fuck around with off-campus housing.
I'm just hoping I don't fall prey to the I'll-just-nap-for-10-minutes syndrome that tends to get me so very well at about dawn whenever I try to pull an all-nighter.
At least I don't have classes tomorrow, so I can just come home from the midterms and crash for the next day or so (though I do have to be up for work at 10...blech)
Monday, February 19, 2007
Content
I'm feeling strangely content today, the fact that I skipped both my classes today notwithstanding.
Over the weekend, I've got myself caught up in my International Security class, Comparative Politics, and spent all of last night catching up on a week and a half of Russian homework. Yeah, I'm ignoring my Russian Lit midterm this Thursday, but I want to just bask in my content-ness right now.
I get this feeling when I'm on top of everything (or at least just about so). It's not quite happiness, but it's more than just a good feeling. It feels like I know what I'm doing, that I've got control of my life, and that I'm not going hellbent towards self-destruction. It's like I'm super-calm and content, and it's a wonderful feeling. It's a shame I don't feel it as often as I should, because I'm lazy and I procrastinate far more than is good for me.
But for now, I'm just going to sit in this warm glow, do my Russian homework and read the chapter for Cognitive Neuroscience. Yeah, that sounds really good.
Over the weekend, I've got myself caught up in my International Security class, Comparative Politics, and spent all of last night catching up on a week and a half of Russian homework. Yeah, I'm ignoring my Russian Lit midterm this Thursday, but I want to just bask in my content-ness right now.
I get this feeling when I'm on top of everything (or at least just about so). It's not quite happiness, but it's more than just a good feeling. It feels like I know what I'm doing, that I've got control of my life, and that I'm not going hellbent towards self-destruction. It's like I'm super-calm and content, and it's a wonderful feeling. It's a shame I don't feel it as often as I should, because I'm lazy and I procrastinate far more than is good for me.
But for now, I'm just going to sit in this warm glow, do my Russian homework and read the chapter for Cognitive Neuroscience. Yeah, that sounds really good.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Lethargy
So I was out until about 1am last night (or this morning, whatever). I set my alarm clock for 8 so that I can do my homework for today before class starts at 10:30. Alarm goes off at 8, I distinctly remember this. I fumble with my phone (my alarm's on my phone) and I vaguely recall having distinct difficulty resetting the alarm for half-past 8.
Clearly, I was incapable of it.
I woke up at 12:15.
That meant I missed Cognitive Neuroscience and the beginning of Russian. I decided that I'd call Russian quits and just go to my afternoon classes.
Couldn't quite work up the enthusiasm for that, either. So, I didn't go. I'll regret it when my Lit midterm rolls around next week, but for now I'm good.
Anyhow, that's only part of the lethargy problem, though quite arguably the part that needs to be dealt with most urgently. This not bothering to go to class thing is going to bite me in the ass, and I know it.
So I've not done any writing for days. Weeks, really. I didn't last week because last week was the week from hell, but I've no such excuse this weekend.
I'm thinking about calling this nanowriye thing quits. I want to focus on the novel-from-hell, recently retitled the mortal gods, and run it through the not-insignificant edit that it definitely needs. The whole second half needs to be re-written because it all stems from a stupid premise that I rethought to something a bit more sensible. And when I've done that, I want to focus on sending out queries.
It's one of my goals to have an agent by the end of the year.
I've still got 10 months.
However, in mildly humorous news (to me, at least) the paper from hell that I had to write last week, I got back yesterday with an A-. Considering the half-assed job I did of it, I'm frankly stunned, amazed, and amused. Of course, it will help when I flunk the midterm next week.
Clearly, I was incapable of it.
I woke up at 12:15.
That meant I missed Cognitive Neuroscience and the beginning of Russian. I decided that I'd call Russian quits and just go to my afternoon classes.
Couldn't quite work up the enthusiasm for that, either. So, I didn't go. I'll regret it when my Lit midterm rolls around next week, but for now I'm good.
Anyhow, that's only part of the lethargy problem, though quite arguably the part that needs to be dealt with most urgently. This not bothering to go to class thing is going to bite me in the ass, and I know it.
So I've not done any writing for days. Weeks, really. I didn't last week because last week was the week from hell, but I've no such excuse this weekend.
I'm thinking about calling this nanowriye thing quits. I want to focus on the novel-from-hell, recently retitled the mortal gods, and run it through the not-insignificant edit that it definitely needs. The whole second half needs to be re-written because it all stems from a stupid premise that I rethought to something a bit more sensible. And when I've done that, I want to focus on sending out queries.
It's one of my goals to have an agent by the end of the year.
I've still got 10 months.
However, in mildly humorous news (to me, at least) the paper from hell that I had to write last week, I got back yesterday with an A-. Considering the half-assed job I did of it, I'm frankly stunned, amazed, and amused. Of course, it will help when I flunk the midterm next week.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Snowday?
Firstly, let me assure you that I live in a large city (Philadelphia). I live in a large city that typically does get snow every year. So, one would assume that in said large city, with lots of people, that if this city gets snow every year, that there would be, y'know, plans for what to do when said snow came.
We got about 3 inches over the course of yesterday/last night. Towards the early morning, it started sleeting, so there's a nice layer of ice on top of the snow. But, as I said, we get that about every year, at least once. Yeah, it's kinda late this year, but it's still winter.
So I was out at about 11 last night, it was yucky, the roads were unplowed, etc. I looked around and thought, thank god it won't be like that tomorrow. They've got all night to plow the roads and salt them, and clear off the sidewalks, and all those nice things that makes the lives of both drivers and pedestrians a hell of a lot easier.
I wake up this morning and look outside. I don't have a street view, instead I have the view of the little courtyard towards the inside of the building. But when I see snow there, I'm not bothered. I couldn't imagine that clearing off the courtyard where no one goes could ever be much of a priority. Fair enough.
Then I check my sibs' school page; they have a snowday. I call home to moan about the fact that they're getting the day off and I'm not. Mom says that Dad (who works in the city) has decided not to come in, and that she's going to work from home as well. She asks me what the roads are like, obviously I can't tell her as I've not yet ventured outside. But I assume that they've been plowed and call my dad a sissy for not wanting to come in.
My first class this morning was at 9, and so, all wrapped up, I head outside. And what do I see?
Snow.
No sidewalk. No roads.
Snow.
NOTHING WAS PLOWED.
As of right now (10:00), the roads are still not plowed.
I'm sincerely considering skipping the rest of my classes today as it would clearly be hazardous to my health to venture outside to go through icy snow that no one could think to clear off for the sake of the fucking students.
Grrr...I'm just annoyed by the stupidity of it all. We get snow EVERY year. Why aren't we prepared for it?
We got about 3 inches over the course of yesterday/last night. Towards the early morning, it started sleeting, so there's a nice layer of ice on top of the snow. But, as I said, we get that about every year, at least once. Yeah, it's kinda late this year, but it's still winter.
So I was out at about 11 last night, it was yucky, the roads were unplowed, etc. I looked around and thought, thank god it won't be like that tomorrow. They've got all night to plow the roads and salt them, and clear off the sidewalks, and all those nice things that makes the lives of both drivers and pedestrians a hell of a lot easier.
I wake up this morning and look outside. I don't have a street view, instead I have the view of the little courtyard towards the inside of the building. But when I see snow there, I'm not bothered. I couldn't imagine that clearing off the courtyard where no one goes could ever be much of a priority. Fair enough.
Then I check my sibs' school page; they have a snowday. I call home to moan about the fact that they're getting the day off and I'm not. Mom says that Dad (who works in the city) has decided not to come in, and that she's going to work from home as well. She asks me what the roads are like, obviously I can't tell her as I've not yet ventured outside. But I assume that they've been plowed and call my dad a sissy for not wanting to come in.
My first class this morning was at 9, and so, all wrapped up, I head outside. And what do I see?
Snow.
No sidewalk. No roads.
Snow.
NOTHING WAS PLOWED.
As of right now (10:00), the roads are still not plowed.
I'm sincerely considering skipping the rest of my classes today as it would clearly be hazardous to my health to venture outside to go through icy snow that no one could think to clear off for the sake of the fucking students.
Grrr...I'm just annoyed by the stupidity of it all. We get snow EVERY year. Why aren't we prepared for it?
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Bad Logic?
Well, I just got back my second snail-mail query letter.
Clearly, the logic that I was using was faulty. Another form rejection.
Ah well.
I'm looking at this on a more positive note: now that I'm not worrying about my query floating around on the streets of NYC, I can focus on giving the piece the edit that it sorely needs that would change it from what the queries I sent out said that it looked like.
Of course, it may just be that my query letter/synopsis sucks. Which is entirely possible. Also more than possible is that, y'know, the writing sucks.
Ah well.
Goal for now is to get this piece through its new edits, and have it ready to be sent out again by the end of March, hopefully this time in a round of submissions rather than one at a time (that way, I can get a bunch of rejections in a row!)
Clearly, the logic that I was using was faulty. Another form rejection.
Ah well.
I'm looking at this on a more positive note: now that I'm not worrying about my query floating around on the streets of NYC, I can focus on giving the piece the edit that it sorely needs that would change it from what the queries I sent out said that it looked like.
Of course, it may just be that my query letter/synopsis sucks. Which is entirely possible. Also more than possible is that, y'know, the writing sucks.
Ah well.
Goal for now is to get this piece through its new edits, and have it ready to be sent out again by the end of March, hopefully this time in a round of submissions rather than one at a time (that way, I can get a bunch of rejections in a row!)
Friday, February 09, 2007
Way Behind
That seems to be the motto of my life, as of late.
Comparative Politics: Actually not behind in this one
International Security: I've got about 450 pages to read by Wednesday
Cognitive Neuroscience: I haven't even started reading the 6 chapters yet
Russian Literature: I didn't read the last book (250 pgs) and I haven't started reading this one yet (300 pgs)
Russian: Never not behind in this class.
And then, writing. According to my nifty Excel spreadsheet, on the 9th of February, I should be at 220,000 words. Or, in more concrete terms, I should be finishing my second novel today. I'm at 128,688 words. Or, in more concrete terms, I've finished one (at 118,000 words), and I'm 10,000 words into the second.
And of course, there's the fact that the first one of these novels should be getting edited right now, because it's the novel-from-hell and that's all that I ever do with it. Write, edit, re-write, and continue. Except I'm happy with it this re-write, or happier than I've been with any of its gazillion predecessors. I even intended to read it all the way through last night, and make notes to myself about where to start editing. And then I made the mistake of...well, sleeping for 14 hours.
I really want to work on my writing this weekend. But, as listed above, my schoolwork has fallen just as far behind. So, guess it's time for Kate to crack the books.
Comparative Politics: Actually not behind in this one
International Security: I've got about 450 pages to read by Wednesday
Cognitive Neuroscience: I haven't even started reading the 6 chapters yet
Russian Literature: I didn't read the last book (250 pgs) and I haven't started reading this one yet (300 pgs)
Russian: Never not behind in this class.
And then, writing. According to my nifty Excel spreadsheet, on the 9th of February, I should be at 220,000 words. Or, in more concrete terms, I should be finishing my second novel today. I'm at 128,688 words. Or, in more concrete terms, I've finished one (at 118,000 words), and I'm 10,000 words into the second.
And of course, there's the fact that the first one of these novels should be getting edited right now, because it's the novel-from-hell and that's all that I ever do with it. Write, edit, re-write, and continue. Except I'm happy with it this re-write, or happier than I've been with any of its gazillion predecessors. I even intended to read it all the way through last night, and make notes to myself about where to start editing. And then I made the mistake of...well, sleeping for 14 hours.
I really want to work on my writing this weekend. But, as listed above, my schoolwork has fallen just as far behind. So, guess it's time for Kate to crack the books.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
A Break
Funny that I talk about a break in the middle of midterms. I should actually be doing some last-minute cramming for my comparative politics exam that starts in 40 minutes. But after going to the recitation this morning, I think I know what I'm doing, so instead, I'm going to waste my time productively. Heh.
Anyway, I've not done any writing since Sunday, I think. We're now on Wednesday (Gah! are we really?) and so that's 3 and counting days without writing. Of course, knowing how far behind I was even on Sunday (about 75000 words, I think), I'm getting progressively more and more behind with each day that I decide to put my college education over enjoying myself and writing. (And, for the record, I AM enjoying what I've written of the second novel. Not a fucking clue where it's going, but that's half the fun).
I think that it might be the first genuinely sensible decision I've made in ages.
See, I'm the kind of person that blows off classes on a whim because I'm really in more of a writing mood than a going-to-class mood. I confess that I've done it a couple times already this semester. But when it came to Monday night and I'd realized that I'd not started studying for either of my 2 midterms, nor had I started on the 5 page paper due Tuesday, that it might be a good idea to close down Word for a couple days and try and focus on something that my parents might care a bit more about.
Yeah, it'll put me about 100k words behind. Yeah, that's even less of a fun number to make up between now and the rest of the year. Yeah, that's a FULL NOVEL behind schedule. Yeah.
But I might just pass my midterms if I do it this way.
Anyway, I've not done any writing since Sunday, I think. We're now on Wednesday (Gah! are we really?) and so that's 3 and counting days without writing. Of course, knowing how far behind I was even on Sunday (about 75000 words, I think), I'm getting progressively more and more behind with each day that I decide to put my college education over enjoying myself and writing. (And, for the record, I AM enjoying what I've written of the second novel. Not a fucking clue where it's going, but that's half the fun).
I think that it might be the first genuinely sensible decision I've made in ages.
See, I'm the kind of person that blows off classes on a whim because I'm really in more of a writing mood than a going-to-class mood. I confess that I've done it a couple times already this semester. But when it came to Monday night and I'd realized that I'd not started studying for either of my 2 midterms, nor had I started on the 5 page paper due Tuesday, that it might be a good idea to close down Word for a couple days and try and focus on something that my parents might care a bit more about.
Yeah, it'll put me about 100k words behind. Yeah, that's even less of a fun number to make up between now and the rest of the year. Yeah, that's a FULL NOVEL behind schedule. Yeah.
But I might just pass my midterms if I do it this way.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Paper from Hell!!!
Well, my paper is due in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
The good news? It's written
The bad news? It's so puke-worthy that I'm almost ashamed to hand it in.
I'm going over it now, after a nice long nap (8 hours worth...oops) and I'm just hoping that I can salvage some of it before 2 comes around. Not to mention that I'm already skipping a class just so that I can rewrite it right now, and I have Russian in an hour, and I really shouldn't skip that (well, I shouldn't be skipping neuroscience either, but that's another story. If I fail THAT midterm, in that class, it's best out of 3 exams, so not too many worries.
I've never been as unready as this to hand a paper in, and I hate the way it feels. I hate the fact that I procrastinated until tonight to do it, and now I've got a piece of crap to hand in.
Much need time management skills, me thinks.
The good news? It's written
The bad news? It's so puke-worthy that I'm almost ashamed to hand it in.
I'm going over it now, after a nice long nap (8 hours worth...oops) and I'm just hoping that I can salvage some of it before 2 comes around. Not to mention that I'm already skipping a class just so that I can rewrite it right now, and I have Russian in an hour, and I really shouldn't skip that (well, I shouldn't be skipping neuroscience either, but that's another story. If I fail THAT midterm, in that class, it's best out of 3 exams, so not too many worries.
I've never been as unready as this to hand a paper in, and I hate the way it feels. I hate the fact that I procrastinated until tonight to do it, and now I've got a piece of crap to hand in.
Much need time management skills, me thinks.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Comfort Objects
No, this isn't even slightly about writing, not really.
I've got a hell of a week coming up, a paper and two midterms, tuesday, wednesday, thursday. None of which I've started yet, and it's now 10:42. I promised myself I'd get a bunch of things done this weekend. Instead, I think I slept for about 90% of it. It seems these days I can just lie down in bed and I'm right off to sleep. No idea why, and it's getting rather irritating. I'm used to being able to get by on very little sleep.
I've also got a data entry job for $8/hr with my psychology department, 6 hours a week. Boring, but it's better than working in that pizza place like I did last summer.
Then there's all the pressures that are going to hit me in the near future. Getting a room for next year. Declaring a major. Passing all my classes. Finding a summer job. Figuring out what the fuck I want to do with my life, because I don't think that I'll be able to live off my writing straight out of college barring a miracle (and for the record, I don't believe in miracles).
I'm not very good with stress, and I never have been. I'm a perfectionist to the core, and I take on more work than I can handle. It doesn't help that I'm also a procrastinator, because that just makes me put ALL my shit off till the very last second, and then I work myself into a nervous fit. And at that point, the slightest thing anyone says/does can send me into tears. I thrive under pressure, but best not come near me when a deadline is approaching. And I have the hugest fear of rejection in the world. When I applied to colleges, all but one of them that I applied to, I was 99% sure that with my grades, I'd get in. And, surprise surprise, I got into them. I don't date much, because I'm a loner and because I'm afraid that I'll get dumped. I learned about this last semester, it's called avoidant personality disorder. While I don't think I could actually be diagnosed with it (along with at least two other personality disorders I'm not quite clinical in...but no one's perfect, right?), I know that it does put rather a damper on my life.
Anyway, when things get stressful and pressured and I'm just in an all-around shitty/sad/miserable mood, I have one movie that I'll watch over and over again. It's called Love Actually, and it's not like other movies that I tend to watch. But I don't know, for some reason, it restores my faith in humanity (and Hugh Grant is really cute).
I don't eat lots when I'm stressed, I don't go out and do stupid things (fear of rejection, remember), I just sit here and feel vaguely sorry for myself, until I turn on the movie.
And, despite the fact that I have a 5-page paper due on Tuesday, that is exactly what I'm going to do right now.
I've got a hell of a week coming up, a paper and two midterms, tuesday, wednesday, thursday. None of which I've started yet, and it's now 10:42. I promised myself I'd get a bunch of things done this weekend. Instead, I think I slept for about 90% of it. It seems these days I can just lie down in bed and I'm right off to sleep. No idea why, and it's getting rather irritating. I'm used to being able to get by on very little sleep.
I've also got a data entry job for $8/hr with my psychology department, 6 hours a week. Boring, but it's better than working in that pizza place like I did last summer.
Then there's all the pressures that are going to hit me in the near future. Getting a room for next year. Declaring a major. Passing all my classes. Finding a summer job. Figuring out what the fuck I want to do with my life, because I don't think that I'll be able to live off my writing straight out of college barring a miracle (and for the record, I don't believe in miracles).
I'm not very good with stress, and I never have been. I'm a perfectionist to the core, and I take on more work than I can handle. It doesn't help that I'm also a procrastinator, because that just makes me put ALL my shit off till the very last second, and then I work myself into a nervous fit. And at that point, the slightest thing anyone says/does can send me into tears. I thrive under pressure, but best not come near me when a deadline is approaching. And I have the hugest fear of rejection in the world. When I applied to colleges, all but one of them that I applied to, I was 99% sure that with my grades, I'd get in. And, surprise surprise, I got into them. I don't date much, because I'm a loner and because I'm afraid that I'll get dumped. I learned about this last semester, it's called avoidant personality disorder. While I don't think I could actually be diagnosed with it (along with at least two other personality disorders I'm not quite clinical in...but no one's perfect, right?), I know that it does put rather a damper on my life.
Anyway, when things get stressful and pressured and I'm just in an all-around shitty/sad/miserable mood, I have one movie that I'll watch over and over again. It's called Love Actually, and it's not like other movies that I tend to watch. But I don't know, for some reason, it restores my faith in humanity (and Hugh Grant is really cute).
I don't eat lots when I'm stressed, I don't go out and do stupid things (fear of rejection, remember), I just sit here and feel vaguely sorry for myself, until I turn on the movie.
And, despite the fact that I have a 5-page paper due on Tuesday, that is exactly what I'm going to do right now.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
1 down, 19 to go!
Well, as of five minutes ago, I just finished the first of my WriYe novels. It clocked in at 135,202 words, but as some of it was written before January started, I'm only at a total yearly word count of a bit over 118,000. Still impressive, I suppose. Except for the fact that I'm supposed to be at something like 180,000 words and should have made this post regarding the finishing of the first one about eleven days ago. Ah well, at least it GOT finished, and I haven't given up hope yet. There's still time for me to catch up. Plenty of time. And as I'm not nearly as serious (or as emotionally committed) to any of the rest of them, maybe they'll go a bit faster as I don't feel as though every word is right for the story.
Coming up with an ending for this one was hard. I knew where I wanted it to end, but I couldn't quite get it there. So that's going to mean some revising later on.
The next story should be fun. It's about a loser who can't wait for the apocalypse because he thinks that when the apocalypse comes, that's when all of his special "talents" (like...erm...drug dealing) will make him an awesome leader. Only he's terribly, terribly wrong. Like I said, fun stuff (*grin*)
Coming up with an ending for this one was hard. I knew where I wanted it to end, but I couldn't quite get it there. So that's going to mean some revising later on.
The next story should be fun. It's about a loser who can't wait for the apocalypse because he thinks that when the apocalypse comes, that's when all of his special "talents" (like...erm...drug dealing) will make him an awesome leader. Only he's terribly, terribly wrong. Like I said, fun stuff (*grin*)
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