Well, I did get to sleep, I woke up at 3 and wrote for a bit, then went back to bed at 7, setting my alarm for 9, which would give me a chance to get ready for class at 10. I had a bad dream, and so I reset my alarm at 10-minute intervals, and now I'm using it as a justifcation to skip Russian, which I KNOW is bad, I KNOW I can't afford to do...and yet I'm doing it anyway. Ugh. I disgust me sometimes. I think that, lacking a forced structure in my life...I kind of let my life fall apart. Or at least, I only focus on the things that I consider most important.
Don't get me wrong, I know that college is important. My parents are paying lots of money for me to get a good education and I know that I should take advantage of it. But I still have no idea what I want to do with myself after college, and I really want to be a writer. You don't need a degree for that. And I'm also thinking of doing teach for america, and that only requires a 2.5 GPA, and mine's about 3.4 or so. I just don't know, and so I can't quite feel bad when I do dumb shit like this. There's not even really an excuse for it this time. I'm not in the mood to write and so I probably won't. I tell myself that I'll spend a couple hours studying Russian tonight, but I know it's fairly likely that I won't. I'll blow it off, because that's what I tend to do when it comes to Russian. I'm not very good at it, but seem to harbor the mentality that it's all going to click with minimal work on my part.
Anyway, back to writing, which is what this month's posts are SUPPOSED to be about (as are, largely, the rest of them). I'm already at my daily quota, but I've rearranged my goals so that I'm not permanently ahead and I actually have to push to hit my goals each day, which is something new...heh. So, I'm at 36k words, and I think that I'd like to hit 40k today and 50k tomorrow, because I want my green bar back on Nano.org.
What a silly reason.
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